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Some epitaph links:


Here lies Lester Moore
No Les, No More

C. Dracula

"Fangs for the Memories"

Flint Stone
done in by rubble.

Mary Jayne
1426 she took her first breath
1442 she was stoned to death.

Sunny Cyedup
the town clown was buried face down.

Earl Lee Demise
he gone now, but he will return before sunrise.

Mr. E.
to find out who's buried here you'll have to dig him up and see.

Silas O'Grady was mean to his wife.
He had a temper.
She had a knife.

Here's all that remains of poor old Bruce.
Jumped off a chair while wearing a noose.

Here lies big fat Jim.
Over there is the rest of him.

Here lies John Yeast,
Pardon him for not rising.

Here lies Bungee Biff
His rope was longer
Than the cliff

Will B. Back

I. Emma Ghoul

Mister Sewell - The victim of a dirty duel.

Here lies good old Fred. A great big rock fell on his head.

we all know you didn't do it

At peaceful rest lies brother Claude planted here beneath this sod.

Dear Sweet Leota Beloved by all, in regions beyond now, but having a ball.

Dear departed brother Dave, he chased a bear into a cave.

C. U. Later

Dustin T Dust

Asher T Ashes

M T Tomb

Hail N Hardy

I M Ready

Love U trudy

I Trudy Dew

Rusty Gates

Pearl E Gates

Rustin Peese

Hal Lusinashun

Bea Witch

Hap A Rition

Manny Festation

Metta Fisiks

Clare Voince

Wee G. Bord

Emma Spook

Paul Tergyst

I. M. Gone

Here lies hypochondriac Rick
For once he was right
When he said he was sick

"Checkmate!" was the call
To dear old Jon
On the chessboard of life,
He was just a pawn

When your razor is dull but you need a shave
Think of the man who lies in this grave

Beneath this stone my wife doth lie
Now she's at rest and so am I.

Here lies an old Atheist by the name of Joe -
All dressed up, but no place to go!

A victim of fast women and slow horses

You might be a king or just a street sweeper But sooner or later, you dance with the reaper

He liked to play, did little Matt
He played in traffic - And now he's flat

Poor poor Sally - she lost her life
She ran and stumbled with a knife

Lovely, lovely, little Blanche
Fell from the tree and hit every branch

Little Jenny ate too many sweets
Now her little heart no longer beats

Beneath this plot lies little Ned
He caught a cold and now he's dead

Too much candy made Billy burst
They boxed up the pieces in the hearse

His sister caught him unawares
Startled, Sammy fell down the stairs

Under this stone lies Billy Joe Bob
Stealing chickens was his last job

He had no friends because everyone hated him
Except for the worms, because they ates him.

He was a simple man who died of complications

Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever

Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other--
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes--
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

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